spending freeze coming right up!

after doing Project Life for all my current pictures, i have found that hoarding little pieces of paper has become a habit for me. Not so good.

this is what picked to make a few projects.

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and this is what i pieced together. loved using up all those little pieces of stuff and being able to make something cohesive. plus i LOVE the page.

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and then….i made a few cards:) haven’t done that in like forever:)

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i had no problem whatsoever throwing out all the little pieces that were leftover. it is all about baby steps, people.

my silhouette has been gathering dust, so i have been saving a lot of png as cutfiles. All of them are by karla dudley designs and all of them are AWESOME! i also have a big box full of 6×6 papers that i am slowly but surely using up.

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and this is the final product.

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and that is it for today. i have been battling the urge to shop for stuff, so it is time for another NO BUY spending freeze. much , much more to come later!

jennie anne

a long time ago, in a place far, far away (The Bronx, 1989) a fair princess was born. She was named Jennie Anne, a play on her grandmother Juana’s name. Never had there been a more beautiful baby girl born and she was LOVED by all.

Jennie Anne had a fairy godmother…namely me:) i loved her ferociously. This is the story:

Our family stories are so convoluted, as most dysfunctional family histories are. Maybe if i make a bullet list timeline of all the events it will be easier to follow. Here we go….

1968: i was born. My maternal grandmother and her youngest daughter(Titi Fanny) take charge of little baby me. it was a good thing and i was very loved.

1979: after a series of moves between New York and Puerto Rico, the trio moves to The Bronx one last time. Titi Fanny meets Big Carlos and they decide to get married.

1981: Grandmother Juana and tween me move back to PR, Titi Fanny stays in The Bronx with Big Carlos after they get married and move together into a basement apartment in Castle Hill.

1983: Little Carlos is born. Teenage me comes to NY for vacations and LOVES little carlos.

1986: Teenage me graduates HS and goes to college at UPR. still comes for vacations with the Perez family.

1988: Still teenage me decides to drop out of college due to being broke and moves to The Bronx with the Perez family i.e Big Carlos, Titi Fanny and Carlos Jr. i get a job, start partying and go back and forth to PR due to a shitty relationship. Titi Fanny becomes preggo with Jennie and is super sick.

1989: i go to PR for a few weeks and miss the birth. so very, very SAD:( i break up with my shitty boyfriend and stay in the NYC for good. in the meantime i turn 21 and take care of the kids. my cousin Tito and i baptize Jennie in the winter and she is the most beautiful chubby cabbage patch baby. we wear matching bubble hemmed dresses. i loved the eighties.

1990: i meet G and plan a wedding. Carlos Jr is seven and Jennie is one.

1991: G and i get married and i move out of Titi Fanny’s. We stay in the neighborhood and eventually move into 2125 Holland ave.

the nineties are a big blur of being a newlywed, working as an optician and building a family. Through it all we remained a family unit. it was a very good decade. Carlos Jr. and Jennie grow up and i have my first two children. Grandma Juana moves in with us.

2000: G and i move to Staten Island. It was a sad time because we moved so far away…

and the Perez Family moves to Florida. that was seriously far away.

it was a sad time. G deployed, i have another baby, Grandma Juana goes with The Perez Family and just like that we are left alone in The NYC. Like i said, it was a sad time.

the 21st century found us all dispersed. my family grew, The Perez family grew, we had losses but we always managed to remain a family. we went to Florida every year for vacation and saw the kids turn into teenagers and then eventually we had jennie’s quince, carlos jr’s wedding and everything that came in between.

somewhere along the way we lost contact with jennie. it was a stupid thing, some dumb misunderstanding that led to us not talking for a long time.

such a dumb thing and so much wasted time.

and then, one day, she answers a message on facebook.

it was all good again. she came to visit. we talked and it seemed like nothing ever happened.

the only thing that i will always hate is that i missed out on so many firsts in her life.

but she is back. we message on facebook and instagram…social networks are a beautiful thing sometimes.

this is the new us:

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and it is all good again.

we pick up where we left off and we continue because it is what we do.

jennie is on the edge of big things. we all are. we are moving into new places in our lives. hopefully, with a little luck and a lot of work, we will all move together:)

i love you, jennie and i am proud of the woman you have become. you grabbed onto a dream and you never let it go. when did you grow up?  Let’s never, ever lose our connection again, ok?

i miss having a blog. there i said it.

it has been months since i have blogged at all. it has been a crazy, crazy life here at the home of the macias tribe. a lot of what i have blogged has been about scrapbooking. why?

i have scrapbooked non-stop since 1998. it was my hobby, my identity and a major part of my life. Then, something funny happened. my kids grew up and the picture opportunities became fewer and fewer. no-one told me (or prepared me) for the fact that my teenagers would become allergic to my camera. the poor thing is gathering dust. it is the saddest thing ever.

so what happens now? well….i have decided that i want to document in another way. there are many things that i want to remember: pop culture, movies, events: the type of thing that does not necessarily belong in a scrapbook but is nonetheless important to ME.

of course, there will be scrappage. there always will be. right now i am starting a NOBUY spending freeze. That means that there will be no shopping for scrapping supplies. i am looking forward to it!

there will also be a return to all digital pages next year. i am looking forward to that too:) i am ready to go!

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today: preparing for the next few weeks.

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right now i am:

freaking out because next week Chloe will be starting her freshman year at COLLEGE.

keeping anxiety at bay. this might not be working out as well as i hoped.

reading to calm myself down.

listening to coheed and cambria + thirty seconds to mars. i swear i am a 17 year old boy in a 45 year old woman’s body:)

watching big brother and wanting to destroy my tv. why do i watch this ridiculous crap?

wishing i could be brave and live in a REALLY tiny house (watching tiny house nation).

wondering what happened to my little babies…..sigh.

today: college, pondering life and taking a day off.

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this is me right before i went to college. how do i know? because my hair was still short (i let it grow out the summer before i went to school) maybe 1985-ish?

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and this is my Chloe at her senior prom. how do i know? because i took fifty-three mazillion pictures.

the tribe is at the edge of another major step in our family life. it is scary. it is sad. it is nostalgic. it is a jumble of crazy. but then again, isn’t it all like that in our family?

Chloe is going to Hunter College in Manhattan as a Yalow Scholar. what does that mean?

it means that she decided to stay home and commute into the city for her bachelors degree. she is determined to make it out of her four years without any debt. it also means that she opted out of having a dorm life experience, but that is the way she is: so level headed and practical. she is thrifty and always looking for a way to save money, she is everything i wasn’t and I LOVE IT! i can deal with her at home for a few more years, you know?

as other parents are dealing with their kids leaving home, i am dealing with a lot of crazy feelings.i wish she would have that dorm experience, but i also know that eventually she will leave to start her life. this is only a little pause that we get to enjoy as a family.

she will leave….but i get a stay of execution:) and that is A-OK by me.

here’s to having ONE day at home with absolutely NO errands to run or things to do. these days are more and more precious as out lives get crazier-er:)

have a good one.

Today: dating, courtships, WHA?????

i am part of a huge extended hispanic family. My side is from Puerto Rico and the hubby’s side is from Ecuador. IN order to fully understand this post, you should also know that both G and I were raised by our grandmothers in our parents absence.THAT is a long story for another day though.
today i opened up my computer and saw the big debate over courtships vs dating because of the announcement of Jessa Duggar’s engagement. as many of you know, the Duggars are Christian fundamentalists. Their family adheres to a strict set of moral values and rules and i say, HEY! more power to you.This world is scary enough without having to worry where your kids are and what type of germs they are being exposed to.
as my girls are getting older,i have become more open to the fact that they WILL have interest in finding partners. MY 17.5 daughter is much more interested in her studies and in her hobbies to think of boys, but eventually she will, as will my 16 year old ASD daughter and my crazy little whirly dervish of a thirteen year old. the hubs and i were raised old school….and this is how it went ( as far as i was concerned).
in High School, girls would not date. they would enter “steady teen relationships”. i am pretty sure i just made up that term, but that is the easiest way to describe it. a boy would like you, approach you to see if you felt the same way and usually you would start to get to know each other in a school environment. once you were comfortable enough with that person and felt that there was “something” there, it was time to get permission from your parents for the boy to visit you at your home. you would have a certain time each week, usually on the weekends to spend time with your “boyfriend” under a kinda sorta supervised way.
now, this did not always work and i knew of many girls who got pregnant in high school, most of them in the time right after their quince or high school graduation. many got married, and as far as i know, have married their teen boyfriends and are having grandchildren at this point.
CRAZY right? BUT, that is the way it was done and you either had a boyfriend or you didn’t. most of my girlfriends from HS had promise rings in their junior year.
so this bring us to ME! i had one steady boyfriend in HS, but he never went to my house. i was terrified my grandmother would kill me so we kept it on the down low. it didn’t last long and seriously, i never cared that much. we never went beyond first base and that was fine by me. not many people knew and by the time i graduated HS it was long over. i was fine with not a boyfriend. i had better things to do and it was the 80’s!
i also had a steady boyfriend in college who i thought was THE ONE. that breakup was major and was enough to make me leave PR to start a new life in NYC. it was 1988 and the city was MINE!!! we went back and forth getting back together but by the end of 1989 it was done for sure.
it was sad, painful and disturbing. we were so similar in temperament, hobbies, music and so many other things that i felt i would never ever find someone again.
the winter of 1989 and the start of 1990 was one endless party.i went out to clubs, met people from places i didn’t even know, went put every single weekend and had a GRAND old NYC time. i dated different guys every week and was determined to not get tied down again. it was fun, light and a bit crazy. and then….everything changed.
in the summer of 1990 i was 21 years old, working in the city and living with my aunt and uncle. it was the closet thing i had ever had to a family and i was HAPPY! i was helping with my cousins and i truly felt that it was good. the love of my life was waiting around the corner…who knew?
he did everything the right way. My girls father is, and has always been, a gentleman true to his word, hardworking and dependable. we had a true hispanic courtship. he went to my house and a week after we met asked permission to visit me at the house. he came every weekend without fault. we watched movies, talked, held hands and stole kisses while no-one was looking. i can truly say that i was a virgin when i met my husband. now, i am going to lie and say that i was one before i got married. i knew i was getting married to this man…and 8 months to the day, we were married in a church ceremony. we have been married 23 years….could you believe?
so what does this all have to do with dating, courtships and engagements? here is my point: not everything works the same for everyone. as parents all we can do is relay information, open the dialogue and hope that everything that you have instilled in them sticks. all the values, talks and examples are complicated…it is not easy talking to kids about sex, but it is all around them. i want my girls to experiment but with responsability….and hopefully, when the time is right, they will bring a nice boy home who will not mind having a whole family gawking at home. i wish for my girls nothing less that what they have witnessed at home:)